I know it’s not as cool these days to blog but I just fancy it today.

The last two weeks I’ve been preoccupied with the weather - mostly because lurking on my to-do list for the last five years has been "paint the railings on the first floor seaside terrace" and the time has come to get rid of it. Too much weather of any kind makes painting anything at the front of the house pretty much impossible.

OK, I can hear you thinking already “after all this time it sounds like Simon has lost the knack – he used to say things that were sometimes a little interesting and even funny but how can he turn this one around?”

Well,  stick with me her a few minutes because I'm about to give you my top 10 lessons for songwriters that I learned from painting the railings:

1. Sometimes it’s worth trying to cover the territory and then going back to fill in the details later.
2. No matter how hard you try to get it right the first time there will always be something you’ll have missed and you’ll only be able to see it looking at  your work from a completely new perspective.
3. Sometimes a job just takes a long time.
4. If the conditions aren’t right in the first place your work will get messed up by the conditions. So you may as well do is go for a swim if you can stand the wind chill.
5. If you want the end product to look exactly the same as something you’ve produced before then approach it in exactly the same way.
6. The power of obsessively following a routine is one of the most powerful tools we human beings possess.
7. Anything can be fun if you’re doing it to the music of the waves.
8. If you try to do things too quickly the result will look like it was done too quickly.
9. Sometimes the only way to tell whether you’ve done a great job is to stand back and admire it from a distance.
10. Encouragement from your family is one of the best fuels to getting anything done.

So there we have it – my top 10 lessons from two weeks painting the house. Whether or not I’ve succeeded in turning a boring subject into something vaguely interesting I’m not too sure but I certainly feel better for having got it down on paper. I’ve also realized in the process that I’m a little disappointed my songwriting lessons have come to an end.

Here’s to my next www.berkleemusic.com course! Can’t wait.

S.

This comes from a Catholic elementary school test in which kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following were statements about the Bible written by children, untouched or corrected with spelling as it was written down.

Enjoy!

S.


1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7 MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT  CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE  BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Here's ten things I love about our little Barts in no particular order -

• The way he hugs me back, patting the side of my arm
• The ever increasing spherical zone he’s able to splat when armed with a pot of tomato spaghetti and a tea spoon
• His baby belly laugh
• The way he calls everything ‘Dada’. Even Mummy
• The intoxicating smell of his hair
• That he seems as consumed with music as I am
• That he’s nearly always happy. And when he isn’t there’s always a good reason
• His slightly chubby little hands that are always ready to slip into mine
• The way he can knock on my study door when I’m working in exactly the same way Sandra does
• That he can smile when he still has big tears in his eyes

Seems like he’s been in my life for 20 years, let alone 20 months.

S.

When I was a teenager...

... I bought my first 4-track recorder. It cost about $2,000 and involved a day out to take a train up to London to visit Soho Soundhouse, just off Soho Square. When I arrived at the shop it was locked but clearly very busy. I was only let in once I'd convinced a heavy piece of meat at the door that I was serious about making music, my music was cool and I was definitely not a crook.

Once I’d chosen my recorder, a cheap mic and stand and a reverb unit I then had to carry several heavy, large boxes across London by taxi to get the train home. Although I arrived home 10 hours later exhausted, with arms scraping the ground like a monkey, I was still delighted that I’d reached step one in my recording career.

Tonight...

... I sat at my desk and downloaded a 4-track recorder. It cost $9.99, runs on my iPhone. It arrived in less than 10 seconds (here's the link in the iTunes Apps Store) and uses the audio of my phone so there is nothing else I need to buy to make it work. And it syncs to my computer so I can import anything of value (or even just sketch ideas) into Pro Tools/Cubase/whatever.

My, how life has changed.

S.

Just got back from midnight mass at our local village church, where people have celebrated Christmas for nearly 1,000 years. Today’s midnight service was totally packed, which was a little surprising. Maybe it's the credit crunch?!

There were the usual hymns and a wonderful choral piece after communion. I'm going to have to find out the name of the soloist.

In the sermon our vicar read out part of my favourite Christmas poem. Here it is in full -

Happy Christmas!

S.

Christmas by John Betjeman

The bells of waiting Advent ring
The Tortoise stove is lit again
And lamp-oil light across the night
Has caught the streaks of winter rain
In many a stained-glass window sheen
From Crimson Lake to Hookers Green

The holly in the windy hedge
And round the Manor House the yew
Will soon be stripped to deck the ledge
The altar, font and arch and pew
So that the villagers can say
'The church looks nice' on Christmas Day

Provincial Public Houses blaze
Corporation tramcars clang
On lighted tenements I gaze
Where paper decorations hang
And bunting in the red Town Hall
Says 'Merry Christmas to you all'

And London shops on Christmas Eve
Are strung with silver bells and flowers
As hurrying clerks the City leave
To pigeon-haunted classic towers
And marbled clouds go scudding by
The many-steepled London sky

And girls in slacks remember Dad
And oafish louts remember Mum
And sleepless children's hearts are glad
And Christmas-morning bells say 'Come!'
Even to shining ones who dwell
Safe in the Dorchester Hotel

And is it true
This most tremendous tale of all
Seen in a stained-glass window's hue
A Baby in an ox's stall?
The Maker of the stars and sea
Become a Child on earth for me?

And is it true? For if it is
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies
The sweet and silly Christmas things
Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant

No love that in a family dwells
No carolling in frosty air
Nor all the steeple-shaking bells
Can with this single Truth compare -
That God was man in Palestine
And lives today in Bread and Wine

Well, holiday season is well and truly here. So far I’ve been given an Amazing Grace DVD, an Il Divo CD, a book about getting to sleep using CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), a thermal top, a chocolate orange (already eaten) and two wonderful photos of my father.

We had our second Christmas celebration of the season today. It was the one my Dad would have been at. We didn’t have an empty chair but there was an uneven number of places set at the dining table. That was tricky. And being the only grown up male, feeling somehow a lot more grown up this year than last. The era of the 12 mega pixel camera almost brings my father back to life. If I look at the photos for long enough I can almost hear him speak. He is particularly missed right now. It will be a while before I’ll be hanging those photos…

But, for the most part, we all held ourselves together well today having what was by all other measures a wonderful time. The three little ones made today very special and this year will be remembered for Sandra’s incredible Christmas candy (which she made with Poppy and Moo) and Barty’s CONSTANT humming ‘One Man Went To Mo’, even tho he can’t talk yet. Oh, and reclaiming our drawing room after a massive push to get rid of a roomful of clutter after the Cottage move. There's something very grown up about sipping a glass of champagne in front of a real, crackling fire.

In terms of the studio, my Christmas came early this year with two new guitar microphones (Neumann KM184’s) and Pro Tools 8, which could keep me busy for another three months.

The next few days will be about last minute shopping, a quiet, family Christmas Eve, a slightly busier Christmas Day and what I hope to be a completely chilled out family time between Christmas and the New Year. All punctuated with golden moments at our sweet village Church. Last Sunday I sung there for the first time – it was a cool Christmas song Sue and I wrote called ‘Before Christ’. It was nice to share a little of my Nashville world with the faithful folk back home.  

So this season is already flying by… and I’m sure it will be over before Amy Grant can sing ‘Jingle Bells’!

S.

I don't know if you read the blog I wrote at the end of my last trip to Nashville but one of the learning points I came home with was to work my best ideas.

These are the ideas that surface time and time again from my subconscious, the ones I wake up to, find myself humming while I'm walking to the car, hearing the production in my head while I'm waiting in line in Starbucks, without them being even half-finished.

I was feeling like those ideas must come back for a reason and I need to respect that and pay more attention to them. I also mentioned that one song written during that last trip stood out because it came from exactly that place.

Well friends, it just got cut. Not even a month after we wrote it.

Yaay!!

S.

This is hilarious... either -

• It's an incredibly good idea and our German friend has caught the beginning of a wacky new wave of tie wearing among Apple dudes or
  
• He is totally out of touch... I mean, going Mac/iPhone is about as anti-tie as you can get isn't it? Even windows users don't wear ties these days.
  

It's the 7th most popular biz app for the iPhone tho...

S.

Seems like today dysfunctional is ok as long as you are authentic about it. From broken down Tuscan farm houses to politicians and pop stars. In some cases dysfunctional is actually cool.

Trouble is, it makes me not want to try so hard.

S.

Did you know that in his life Christ fulfilled 332 distinct prophecies in the Old Testament? What are the mathematical possibilities of all these prophecies being fulfilled in the life of one man?

1/840,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,

(That’s ninety-seven zeroes!) Amazing!

Hear how my Mac read it out loud!

Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when patients die
Benign - What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section - A neighbourhood in Rome
Catscan - Searching for Kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker than someone else
Fibula - A small lie
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
Rectum - Nearly killed him
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman emperor
Tablet - A small table
Urine - Opposite of you're out

Last Friday I wore my cowboy boots to London. This forced the clash of two worlds I normally like to keep separate: my songwriter life and my City life.

1. My songwriter life is about my passion, my calling, accountability to my Creator and developing the side of my brain I’ve not spent nearly enough time with over the years.
2. My City life is about interfacing with the real world, reminding myself of the combustive properties of mixing money with people and using the side of my brain that has historically rewarded me well. It also provides a certain amount of adrenaline not found on the south coast of England. Unless you’re 30 feet above the waves kite surfing in a force 8 storm.

I’ve been picking away at City life for a while – consultancy here and there, covering this company and that company. Although I’ve got a little more drawn in to it than I initially planned it’s been working very well. But last week it got a little silly.

Each year London hosts the World Junior Oil and Gas Congress, a three day event where anyone from Texas cowboys to Russian oligarchs gets to moan about low oil prices and high rig rates. In the middle of it all there’s a gala dinner with an oily version of the ‘grammys’. I must say, it’s organized incredibly well by a man called Ross. Not my Nashville friend Ross, tho that would be fun.

Anyway, at last week’s event I had the pleasure of speaking to about 500 top oily professionals as part of a “keynote analyst/investor panel”. I also happened to be one of the judges on the panel for the awards. But in the process I inadvertently got nominated for ‘Analyst of the Year’.

Now 'Analyst of the Year' is like ‘Young Accountant of the Year’ (which I inadvertently won a few years ago)... these awards come with the obvious social cost. But for some investment bankers, tho they would never admit it to anyone other than their boss, they would probably sell the last of their Grandad’s WW2 medals to get their hands on that piece of modern art made of strips of bright orange and yellow see-through plastic. Not that I got that close... the award went to a man called Richard. God bless Richard (and his Grandad) because I’m sure he deserved it. 

But nonetheless, for me it was a warning shot. Like Mr Threehambergersaday getting the first twinge down his left arm, a close call like that makes you think about your lifestyle choices.  So I did something about it and last Friday jumped on the 15.30 train to London Bridge for my leaving drinks… in cowboy boots.

Here's to a right brained run up to Christmas.

Yay!

S.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends!

This year I’m thankful for a lot of things. And thankful for a lot of things being over. 2008 was my worst year and (in some ways) my best year all rolled into one parcel that has left me strangely optimistic for this next season of my life.

I’m hoping that for you this year held more good things than bad, but if not, remember there’s never a wrong time for champagne…

One day I hope we’ll all be able to celebrate with you in person.

Cheers!

S.

I’m sitting in bed in my Nashville ‘second home’ and it’s time for me to start packing up. After 8 new songs, 1 new guitar, a pair of cowboy boots, a bunch of meetings, calls, lunches, dinners, corridor greetings and some Christmas shopping I’ll be jumping on the plane with a lovely warm feeling that this trip has been so worthwhile. I never take for granted the chance to write with the talented people I get to write with here and the friendships I make along the way... these are some of my favourite people.

That said, putting my toothbrush in my wash bag for the last time on a trip like this is always a sweet moment because it’s the first time I let myself fully focus on my family and how I wish I was back there without 20 hours of travelling. There’s an extra spring in my step this time because I know I’ve been upgraded to first class on at least one of my flights. That feels nice.

Some things I’ve learnt this trip –

• Keep writing - my job is to write the best songs I can, whatever is going on around me. Even in the chaos the music industry is in right now the most intelligent thing I can do is to focus on improving my craft, writing as much as I can, as broadly as I can with as many different writers and artists.
• Listen, listen, listen - coming to a co-write with several great ideas is always a great idea. If I can articulate them well then there's a good chance we will come up with gold. But sometimes I serve my co-writer and the song we write better by listening to their ideas first because, even if their idea is not as strong as mine, their buy-in to the process makes the overall result better. And it's all the more important when I'm writing with an artist.
  
• There’s always more to learn - there are still deep pools of learning I have yet to dive into… that’s exciting. It's also time consuming. I need to give myself time and space to jump in and have a good splash around. Seems like this onion is still growing. I know, that's two metaphors.
  
• Keep coming back - the routine of coming over regularly is a powerful way to build catalogue… it seems like yesterday I had my first ‘grown up’ co-write with Joel but I now find myself with 166 songs written here with 66 co-writers over 20 trips plus video co-writes. It doesn’t feel like I worked that hard but the numbers speak for themselves.
  
• To work my best ideas – there are ideas that seem to surface time and time again from my subconscious… normally they’re musical ideas… if they keep coming back I think it’s for a purpose. So I need to listen to them harder, value them for that and try my best to make them into the best they can be. There’s one song that stands out from this trip for exactly that reason. I’ll be interested to see where it goes.

The journey continues… the next step is to pack my toothbrush.

S.

Hey friends,

The new website's up and running. Some of my latest demos and links and stuff. A lot more coming.

Feel free to check out www.simonhawkins.com

S.

Sandra bought Barts a missing Mr Men book about Mr Tickle from a second hand book shop. Reading it to our little man, I started with the first page and noticed a dedication…

“To our wonderful little Robbie, we love you so much, Uncle Waynie-Wayne and Auntie Ju-Ju, XXXXX”

Little Robbie has probably grown up by now, a gangly youth with long hair, whispey stubble, spots and a sleeper through his navel. But somehow it still felt wrong that Barty should be cashing in on ex-little Robbie’s stuff.

Is that weird?

Maybe not as weird as me announcing to the whole world that people actually call themselves 'Waynie-Wayne and Ju-Ju'

S.

There have been a few changes here I know. But right now life seems all about change. 

There’s a new website coming too. That will be fun.

Lets see if new Simon is a little less tardy than old Simon.

S.

P.S. Thanks to everyone at WAJ who made last weekend so incredible. Missing you guys.

One day a boss wondered why one of his most reliable employees was absent without phoning in sick.  Being concerned, he rang his employee's home and was greeted with a child's whisper.  The conversation went like this -

Child: Hello
Boss: Is your daddy home?
Child: Yes
Boss: Can I talk to him?
Child: No

Boss (surprised): Is your Mummy there?
Child: Yes
Boss: Can I talk to her?
Child: No

Boss (starting to get worried): Is anyone else there?
Child: Yes
Boss: Who?
Child: A policeman

Boss (more worried): Let me speak to the policeman then
Child: No, he's busy
Boss: Busy doing what?
Child: Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman

Pausing, the boss is now very worried and hears a loud noise in the background

Boss: What's that noise?
Child: The helicopter
Boss: What's going on?
Child: The search team has just landed in the helicopter
Boss: What are they searching for?
Child: Me

Everyone has their own, but here’s my 10 favourite third party apps for iPhone (in no particular order):

1. Bloomberg (well, after today…)
2. Writing Pad
3. Google Mobile
4. Ecco Note Pro (this one pauses and emails)
5. Blogwriter (does RSS as well as sync to this)
6. Trains (might be only available from UK iTunes)
7. Bible (how do they put so much on such a little App?)
8. Tube London City
9. AIM Chat for iPhone
10. TV guide (I’d never watch BBC4 otherwise)
11. iDrum (Hiphop)
12. Guitar Toolkit (love the tuner)

OK, that’s 12. But that’s a measure of how much I use this fella.

Oh, and I like to make the odd phone call.

S.

I can't believe it's October already. Although, come to think of it, the world often goes a little crazy after the summer holidays. Guess I should have noticed that.

One thing that happen to me - kinda got lost earlier in the summer - was my acquisition of an iPhone. And because of that life got a little crazier this week.

I was sitting down for lunch with an old City friend at his club - one of the most exclusive clubs on London, where you're not even allowed cell phones or bags in the restaurant - and we got chatting. Not about lehman bros, who maybe he still works for. Not even about friends and family. Our first topic of conversation was:

So what's your favoirite iPhone app?

This little gadget has changed my life already and I've a feeling I've only just scratched the surface. I'm already thinking about SongTools for iPhone. I'm wondering if maybe I could book an entire writing trip (flights car accommodation and cowrites) while I'm waiting for Poppy to come out of school. I've already got three guitar apps, two drum machines and a keyboard. I'm just waiting for a top 10 hit to be made entirely on an iPhone. It was only a few years ago I used to take an entire studio to Nashville every time I went. Plus a guitar and an 88 note keyboard.

This is the kind of October craziness I like. And then there's the prospect of one of the best weekends of my year coming up.

S.